Posts Tagged ‘Motivation’

Probably after long one month, I finally got some time to spend with myself. Honestly this new job is really checking my capacity to handle stress, tension, work load everything. Everyday morning, I wake up at 7 am, then immediately after waking up, I rush to washroom, get ready, prepare breakfast while getting ready, pack it in lunch box, put it in a bag, arrange my office bag, take car key and start rushing in the Mumbai traffic. Then try not to honk at any point of time on the way to my office putting FM on high pitch and reach my office after travelling 43 km in 1 hour, if lucky, park my car outside office in open parking area, assemble by trouser, take the laptop bag in shoulder, lunch box in other hand start running for lift. Then the permutation combination phase, which life will come fast and probability of getting in is higher as there is no queue in front of life. After participating in that race, I reach office with a smiling face enjoying good morning wish by my sub-ordinates and finally settle, better say leave my ass to settle on a cushy mushy chair. Office boy brings a glass of water and then a hot coffee. The moment I open my laptop and start checking mails in outlook and newspaper in google chrome, intercom rings, hey man, good morning, can you please come for 1 minute? Sometime I think of replying, no sir, I can’t come, but I can’t because at this point of time, I am not having any back up job in my hand and I have a wife, I have a social status, I have a bunch of friends, I have handful of well-wishers and a bunch of bad wishers as well around me who may forget to shit in the morning but never forget to keep their watchful eyes on me. So I can’t just type a letter and throw that on my boss saying, fuck off! Hey, come on, don’t get me wrong, I am not at all frustrated with my job. Actually I enjoy working whole day, attend meetings, taking decisions, make fun of any small funny incidents and take charge of a whole bundle of deliverable. Anyway, I work whole day till evening, may be by 7 pm, I log off and again take my car key to jump in to the battle of returning home. In evening, I usually take long 2 hours to reach at home. So I reach around 9 pm every day, feel blessed when my wife offers me cooked food. O yes, sometime, I take a peg of whiskey and act like drunk to forget all the shit I did whole day including travelling to office and returning back and then enjoy my dinner while watching TV. Then I go to sleep.

So that my daily ordeal. I just don’t do anything apart from the above mentioned schedule. I may take 30 min more in one activity than other but overall the story is same.

Ok now, I guess you are much tired of reading my boring story because I guess you also got almost same like mine. Then let me tell you another story, funny is this is not funny and I assure, your story matches mine and for obvious reason my story matches exactly with yours. To be honest, we everyone have same story in life and still we try to extract thrill out of it. You earn, you socialize, you take responsibilities both at home and at work place, in both place you get bare minimum hike in your salary as well as importance at your home. You earn, you spend, sometime for yourself and most of the time for others only to remain included in that circle but most of the time you end up with getting criticized for what you haven’t done at all, still you smile, keep yourself busy in aspiring more and more with a dream of achieving everything in life as soon as possible hoping there is a world, where everything you do is appreciated without any miss and you continue living. You earn, you fight to streamline what is not in order. With your hard work, dedication, you reach closest to that place and find out while concentrating on one thing, you missed another thing. You again try to assemble that. Your job is never finished.

Hey cool, no need to thank me, we all are co-traveler in same boat. We will never reach our destination and please don’t get frustrated for that. Let’s keep trying.





A few days before, I went to Pushkar with my family in my car. There we stayed in a beautiful cottage type hotel where there were lots of greenery and natural beauty. While returning, my wife asked the gardener for some branches of a few trees. She wanted to plant those at our house. We brought those branches all the way from Pushkar to Gurgaon, then kept them in salted water in enough sunlight for 2-3days. In the meantime bought some pots with fertilized soil and one fine morning put those branches one by one in the pot. Actually there were three saplings. One was Indian Rose, and rest two were of two different colored China rose, one light saffron colored and another cherry red. Unfortunately the pot where we planted the rose sapling was broken and it didn’t show any sign to live in our place. Slowly it lost its green and died. Somehow, I believe it didn’t like our place. Then we were left with two very sensitive, tender saplings of China rose. Both of them were losing their hope to stay alive.

It became my routine, everyday morning, I wake up, then spend some good time with those dying plants, water them, touch their yellowish leaves and get ready for my office. It continued for more than one week. Slowly they were dying and I could not do anything. They were losing their leaves very fast.

It was a Sunday morning, I still remember, I woke up, went to the balcony where I have kept them, sat beside them with a mug of fresh water, surprisingly saw the leaves were looking a bit firm, not like dying till yesterday. I was very happy then. It was really a great news to see them finally they got back their strength to live. The very next day found the leave, which was trying to grow, turned yellow, pale and fell down. I spent some more time with that plant that day. Another plant was ok. It was also not in very good health but somehow retained its strength. This continued another week and to my surprise and valuing my hope both the plants became strong enough to hold the soil, stay firm and started growing, showed all good signs to come out of coma. I was very happy to see those two brothers grow, live their life in two small pots.

Now compare this with our own life. We see our kids (though I don’t have any till date). It is like seeing your own self growing infront of you. The seed you planted is slowly, systematically taking a shape, sometime fighting with wounds, illness etc but never giving up the hope to stay alive and you are also not letting him to think like that.

Having a kid is not an easy job. It’s the woman who carries baby in her womb for long nine months withstanding lots of pain, trauma and then the Labor Day pain. After giving birth, direct pain for another one month and then another struggle, nourishing, caring a lump of alive flesh to live, understanding its needs in time and provide that accordingly. It is never an easy job but after seeing that china rose grow, get back its life, seeing its tenacity to live in this earth, somehow I have started feeling the urge of seeing my own self growing infront of me.

It is strange and a bit weird too seeing myself spending time in writing a blog on this rather than discussing the same at my home, with my better half but one thing is clear, blogging is not sending a message to someone, it is kind of expressing yourself and in that way I am not wrong. Life is not a MS Excel sheet where you write the formula and get a desired result. It is actually a refined battle, where a single bullet can cause more harm than a missile.






The moment I wake up in the morning, the only terror comes in my mind is not going by ferocious Mumbai Local train, Aviation licensed auto rickshaw drivers but how and why I shall have to spend a whole day in office. Honestly that’s the only tension fills my mind with hopelessness, discourage, all the negative words available to describe a person who actually doesn’t want to work in a scheduled working hours and fixed scheduled routine job without any kind of proper exposure. But one and only good thing of it is it enlightens my pocket on very first week of every month and without any fail and as this is the only way of earning to ensure my daily bread, I don’t have any other options to choose. Actually I am too enthusiastic to generate ideas or perform under good supervision but too lazy to work on it personally. I have read a lot motivational books written by world famous writers, attended a few good seminars, made down charts to follow, threw out procrastination but eating the frog early Imagebut actually in real life where performance determines everything, there remained like a salary holder. It is like living a life like Jack of all, master of none, and only masters live on the bed of money, so clearly I don’t have money, as I don’t have money I don’t have courage to leave a job to stop regular income. As I don’t have money, I don’t have that courage to start something from the beginning using my own brain and creative mind. So I wake up in the morning, brush like someone raped me last night and so can’t stand on my own feet, then take bath, chew breakfast and finally get ready for office wearing all boring clothes, undies and then the most irritating formal leather shoe, which even needs more cream buttering than anything on this earth.

I reach railway station and wait for train, when it comes with another million, billion, may be trillion people practicing for working in circus by leaning from the train due to heavy jam packed passengers inside, I get my energy level boost up, I jump on the board and then like all other people keep on forcing people inside, pressing inside to get a minimum most place required to keep my one feet atleast. Regarding travelling in Mumbai local, I have mentioned in another blog about the whole story. ImageAnyway, frustrated I am, reach the desired station by standing in the queue of it. People automatically force me to get down from the train either by pushing from back or by calling my name along with my parents, yes incredible slangs.

I take an auto from the station which everyday takes two signals, a lot of carbon di-oxide and then drops me at my office. After reaching my office I feel like reaching heaven, chilled everywhere except some hot girls wearing hot colorful dresses and then the security officer welcomes me with a huge smile like I got agreed to marry his daughter, may be wife, anyway and reminds me one thing, sir, you are one of those few persons whom people call boss. So behave like a boss. Don’t look at girl’s arm, thigh, or at neck. Don’t even check what they are wearing, just concentrate on your work, behave good, smile well, welcome all, solve the problems, then go out in the evening and meet your wife at home. I feel like saying, fuck off and get a life but then feel what his fault is; actually it’s me who is suffering from all these octopus like professional pressure, personal pressure, from where there is no relief at all for even a single day. And what kind of work to do at office, yes due to specialization during studies, only some specific kinds of jobs to see, become experienced and then senior to have some disciples who actually doesn’t like you a bit but calls you boss with a pinned up smile on face and you feel happy by seeing them and if any of them is a girl, you melt like hot chocolate.

ImageHonestly I don’t like what I am doing right now. Who the hell gave me jobs and a lucrative promise to pay me on every first week, I seriously don’t have any idea. I don’t even know the name of the first person who invented this procedure to keep their employees devoted every day. I can sing sometime, sometime I prefer drawing, can write poems, sometime spend time by writing blogs and short stories and sometime work hard to write a good story, may be novella but at the end of a day, I am a mere salary holder where I am bound to reply for everything I do at office and then at home. From not doing a job in time at professional level to for not feeding aquarium fishes at home in personal level. This is only because I don’t have that tenacity to wake up one fine morning and do something that I love than pulling a cartful of responsibilities, bounding, pressures and that also to meet up a sudden expectation of other people. It’s like my happiness is seeing other people happy. May be those who are around me or those, whose burden I carry happily everyday are also thinking the same and its most possible that to some people, I am also a pack of burden, non-decomposable wastage, sack of show case of responsibility or even worse, of no scrap value item.Image

Actually it’s not only the job, that we hate or to be specific atleast in my blog, I hate, it is actually the urge to live bigger than better that kill me every day. I don’t want a Sunday or a five days week to rest on rest two days but I want to work on every days without but that work should have to me of my choice. I may even like to paint all day long but someone shall have to pay me for that even if that seems like a piece of shit. I know I am talking shit but sometime it’s too much pressure to move ahead, too much troublesome to continue to work as a salary holder and fixed income employee, sometime it feels bad for not having much money to start an initiative of my own choice.

Take care guys. Love you all and yes, thanks for reading.