TSG

I am a person who needs highest level of motivation for anything. Like if I believe alcohol has nothing to do with our human body, even god can’t stop me from drinking. If I think my boss isn’t right, bribing me Kohinoor will also not change the view. I was knowing alcohol and smoking is actually killing me but was not able to quit those. I was not even convinced to go for medication also. I needed a strong motivation. I checked almost every sites telling how to quit smoking but finally failing to do so. I started drinking milk at night just to avoid alcohol but again after two days threw the glass of milk and filled it with alcohol. All negative things around me was engulfing me and slowly all my positive things were converting in to negative things. I used to write poems, paint, read books but slowly I one fine morning I found myself doing none of the above except thinking of beer in the afternoon before lunch and then whiskey in the evening and throughout all these bad thought process burning one by one cigarette to hell.

I was getting a clear picture of my health. I was getting tired after walking half a mile of running quarter a mile. I was not getting any interest in anything. Most of time busy with how to manage time for a cigarette break or finding out reason for celebration with whiskey. Though I was eating a lot, still I was not gaining any weight. Every night I use to stay towards the ceiling hoping after sometime sleep will come. In the morning, with drowsy eyes fighting with another tensed day.

I am a person, who can do anything in the world with help of a bit inspiration and motivation but like I said earlier, I need to go in details of the thing I am doing. One fine morning, I just stopped smoking and took an oath of not drinking any more. I just stopped.

Earlier also I have done this many time. I used to make fun of myself by telling people that quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world, for example, I have done it a thousand times. Even once for a stretch of almost a week but everytime I made a mistake. I will share this mistake here.

We get motivated by many things, like scolding from teachers/wife, siblings for not smoking. Sometime wife refuses to kiss a cigarette smelling lip, sometime it feels bad to go closer to a non-smoking person too. So we plan to quit smoking and then immediately we declare it our friends, colleagues. The moment we share the good news, they get jealous of you or just to appreciate you, they make fun of you. I have faced this many a times. Sometime appreciation doesn’t help. So just quit it and you are done. Like I said before, I used to smoke atleast 15 cigarettes a day and then suddenly stopped. Before I used to quit smoking for a day and then immediately started Googling the pros and cons of quitting smoking. With all those motivating incidents and words, I used to get enthusiasm and to celebrate that, started smoking again. I was a big frustration for myself, after trying my best also, I was not able to forget it properly.

I told myself. You need to do something that doesn’t support smoking. You need to give a break to your mind. You need to do something that keeps you busy than leaving you a second for smoking. And one more promise I made to myself, no looking back from now.

So, there were three things. First, unhappiness in my family and home, second stress in office which was actually hampering my personal life and third, all those bad habits. I made one thing clear, I will have to fight with these three hurdles. I checked internet all through the days and listed down various options. I am listing down those below

  1. Identify the tension and get rid of it. It confused me a lot. My wife is my tension but I can’t get rid of her. She is part of my life. If I break one hand, is it preferable to get it treated through some near painful process or just cut it off for a later painful life?
  2. Live in the present and forget past and don’t think too much about future: it is a good point. One must live in present forgetting whatever he did and without getting much involved in what he will get in future. Just live the moment and enjoy it fullest. Somehow it’s a great thought. My sincere question was, while I am drinking, I am living in the very present. Does that make me happy? One word came from the above realization that is Happiness. My focus is to get happiness and bet is that it must have to be permanent or at least it must stay for some time.
  3. Exercise, exercise and exercise: yeah, I am fond of exercise. If someone wakes me up every day in the morning and take me for a walk, I don’t have any problem but if someone says put an alarm and do it regularly, then it’s not my cup of tea. Another problem with exercise is consistency. People have a tendency to get bored of exercise very often. Though exercise is one of the best option to get physically and mentally fit, still I was wandering for some other options.

At this point of time, one evening one friend of mine came to my place. He was sharing his experiences about how did he quit smoking. Actually he was a very close friend of mine who used to smoke & drink occasionally. His way of talking really amazed me and I got more interested about the way he did that miracle.

He said, he had joined a religious programme which encourages yoga. Yoga was not a new thing to me. Even I had downloaded a few yoga postures which included Surya Namaskar etc. and started practicing at home with a bit difficulties. Then he started explaining about the programme. He said, it has nothing to do with any kind of religions. No need to have faith on god or have to follow some kind of rituals. It is very simple programme which they call ‘Happiness Programme’. Happiness programme is all about bringing happiness which is kept inside our body and soul. I got enthusiastic about that programme and the very next day spent a good time on internet to know every details of that organization. It was formed by a person named Sri Sri Ravi Shanker. His face or whatever was written in the site didn’t attract me much to be very frank. Being a son of a very religious family I am believed to be an autistic, I have never shown any respect to any kind of God or Godmen in my life and it is not something I have done forcefully or for any reason. Actually depending on anyone is just not in my blood. May be there is something called heaven, where people go after their death, maybe there is some people known as god but their story never attract me. I never bowed down infront of any image or Murti. So religious thing didn’t attract me at all but thought of giving it a try. The whole day I kept on checking their sites. I downloaded a few books on Yoga and Yogic culture. In between that process, I even checked Yoga dresses in some online portal also and ended of buying some electrical junks. That night, I had a very bad sleep. Woke up in the morning with swollen eyes and tired face, drank one full bottle of water and quit smoking, drinking alcohol.

Yes it was that simple. One have to just make his mind and throw up everything.

I joined their class on the very next day. Even before they say anything, I knew I stopped smoking and drinking, so already I was high. I was high on enthusiasm. The schedule was, reach the venue by 6am in the morning and be with them till 9am. My office starts at 9:30am, so the first decision I had to make was to inform office that for the next five days, I will be late every day in the morning and the second was to inform wife that I will not have my breakfast at home and will not take my lunch box for the next five days. It was not easy at all but my positive approach towards that thing woke me up in the morning even before the alarm.

I packed a small bag of formal wears which I planned to wear after Yoga session and then rush for office, one bottle of water, a small hand towel. As instructed I wore a light fitted dress and left home at 5:30 in the morning. It was drizzling outside, a cool breeze was playing with my hair. After very long, my ear got to breathe in fresh air, I was feeling the bliss with all my sense organs.

The first thing we did at the Yoga class was, we got hold of each other’s hands and said “I belong to you”, means it all started with a dedication. A lot of things were taught in the whole class. We learnt a few yoga postures also. Ujjayi Pranayama was one of those. It’s all about controlling your breaths. The most important thing we do all through the day is we breathe. We are alive till we breathe. When we get tempted, it increases and remain very normal while we sleep. The moment it stops, our body converts from live thing to a dead substance.

A few strange questions were asked during the course like when are we happy? When will we be happy? What do we need to be happy?

I stopped eating non-vegetarian foods also. I stopped taking tea and started thinking of yoga whenever possible. It was more of an awakening class than a spiritual class or yoga class. They didn’t show us much yogic poses. They kept ourselves limited with a very few postures only. There was one thing called Sudarshan Kriya where we were taught how to keep control of our breathing. SUdarshan Kriya is a thing, is a kind of breathing exercise where one has to breathe with the sounds of So-ham. So-Ham is said in different ways, first very slowly, means to have control over long breath, then with medium pace and atlast with very fast. One has to keep doing it until it finishes. Once it is over, one must lay on ground and relax their body.

Honestly I never knew how to relax. I used to relax at any comfortable posture, trying hard to forget all other tensions and then fighting with physical uncomfortness and finally giving up being half-rested. They taught me how to control mind, how to channelize one’s thought in to relaxation. How to think of your own body and then slowly relax each body parts.

One another thing I learnt from them is meditation. Every time I heard of meditation, everyone says it’s all about concentration. Throughout years I tried my best to concentrate on sudden things but that never happen. I always ended up being impatient and an utter failure. They told us meditation has nothing to do with concentrations. It’s all about routing things in proper way. At first, one have to expand themselves.

They told us to sit cross legged (Sukhasana), spine erect, eyes closed, palm facing the sky and relaxed shoulders. At first we were said to think of a sphere around us with a radius of 2feet, then the whole room. This way one by one they took us out of the universe and finally told us to think of a place in between our eyebrows, means where the 3rd eye is believed to be. When I was done, I felt myself in heaven. Everything around me was calm, cool. I was not having any anger, sorrw. I was happy. I was happy.

I got a new dimensions through Yoga. Yes, I was in search of it for very long and probably I got it. I got a glow around me, a soulful glow.

Sougata

21.08.2015

Gurgaon

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