Blogger’s Block

Posted: April 14, 2015 in Bloggers Block, Inspiration, life, NaBloPoMo, Personal
Tags: , , , ,


Every day morning I wake up late with lots of enthusiasm and positive thoughts. The moment after lots of struggle with irritating alarm of mobile I finally open up my eyes, I feel it’s almost sunny outside and all other members in my family except me have already finished their one hour routine job. Still i don’t mind getting up late and get ready for office within a record sprint time of fifteen minutes which includes relief from bowel pressure, bathing, dressing, and breakfast and then a Michael Schumacher drive to office. Then whole day I work in office, basically attend a lots of meetings without any idea of my presence and then indulge myself seriously on some excel sheets. In between that period of my so called busy office hours i keep on checking official mails, personal mails and obviously without any fail chew up news papers virtually. While reading a good story in news paper the first thing comes in my mind is always same, i could have been better writer than this idiot reporter. I start feeling that some reporters simply don’t have the capacity to mix thrill with story, humour with energy. Height of happiness happens then when i close all my windows in laptop except an important excel sheet and then open a new Microsoft Word file to write down something on anything. Seriously I don’t even understand how easily I can spend a day from lunch hours to office leaving hours without typing a single word because not a single topic comes in my mind. I feel of writing about the sunny weather outside, then chilling cold in night but what to write for that? Is that a new thing i am trying to write or seriously there is something I lack of. I mean a person who can think, day dream almost every day but can’t write a single page without any pre-defined subject or something on which none put a light before. Yes, I do agree Mr. Google has helped us to know more but killed a few super writing skilled powerful person like me.

Whenever I think, I come up with lots of ideas. Any kind of ideas can be generated through me, or by me. Ok, I will give an example. While in class VIII, I told my brother that i want to be a tea-vendor in future. Throughout the years he proved himself to be my most consistent listener without making fun of me and obviously without helping me developing my ideas too. Se innocently asked me, “why and how?” I shared a dream with him. I will open up a tea stall in our nearby area like bus-stand, paper vendor, and political party office. The shop will be small but with full of ideas inside. I will not hang up any posters of any great people but surely write some ideas of those great people. Like a shop with a theme to generate and develop some dreams. Then slowly I will extend my business by buying another place with the same set up. Good quality tea, good and polite person willingly entertain people with ideas and then still keeping the price competitive with the market. When there will be two tea stalls in same town, then i will expand it by buying one more place. When I will own three tea stalls, then each and every stall will bear some kind of definitive theme. Like one tea stall will have posters or materials of sports. According to me, keeping a bat and ball with a small crease with stumps will be more interesting that pasting a poster of Sachin Tendulkar. Another place may bear theme – love. I will not keep photo poster of Romeo-Juliette or Ranjha-Majnu. In place of these can keep some world known icons like lots of red & blue balloons and a table sized replica of Tajmahal.

All these are ideas and people love ideas. People develop ideas every time. Somewhere i read Mr. Bill Gates once said that he will recruit a less active person than a super active person, because less active person will always come out with a shortcut. While I travel, I develop ideas. I plan to write a lot short stories or story about how young people in India are demotivated with present political scenario of our country, I feel of writing about my maid who works all day long to earn bread for her three daughters and drug addicted husband. I think of writing about poetry believing how much I used to get appreciations from my friends. I feel of writing on women in my life but the moment I start scratching in paper by pen, suddenly everything vanishes away. Even after completing a whole paragraph of may be around 100 words, suddenly I start feeling that whatever I have written are just shit and of no use. It doesn’t give me happiness. I suddenly doubt my calibre of writing anything. I feel frustrated. After spending almost four to five hours with a single word sheet, I find myself suddenly lost the idea of writing. I start looking here and there, think anything to everything to find out an idea and discover just before writing I was full of ideas but none of the ideas satisfy or meet up the satisfaction of my urge of writing.


Sometime it feels like I have an outline of an idea but have no idea on how to develop that in a systematic way.

Another pressure is that whenever I write, I start feeling myself a writer and the pressure of writing something which will be read by some people including a few whom i do know, aware of their abilities and taste light up the dormant fear of writing. The pressure of being read actually stops the fingers from typing in keyboard.

Another type of problem I face when I don’t finish writing on a single go. Like I have developed an idea after struggling for two or more days, even sometime after a long month, then i start writing. I get indulged in it forgetting satisfying hunger etc. I keep on writing with an aim to make it a novel. I continue writing for a whole week on a same story line up and then suddenly due to some pressure I leave that on table and get busy with some other work. Whatever it may be, personal or professional, but after one week when again I start writing, I find myself middle of nowhere. Though in that one week, when I was not able to write anything due to some other reasons, kept on thinking on that plot, story line ups, conclusions etc., almost everything was stored in my mind but after a gap, I feel like scrapping the idea and delete the whole file out of anger.

May be that’s not anger, it’s a kind of frustration. The same situation happens after one gets properly drunk. Alcohol inspires him to drink more and more until all the nerves stop responding but then he has to stand up and go home. He feels himself helpless. He looks after around him and don’t find anyone to help him. He understands that only a good vomiting can help him to gain some strength to finish his work or further works but that doesn’t happen.

Another problem happens when I finish up almost twenty pages and then suddenly one fine morning find that none of the characters are interesting. They actually don’t do anything except killing pages and increase the volume of some shits. The way I tried to depict them from the beginning, reached no where causing utter nuisance. Some great person once said, “we don’t fail, we just don’t give it a last try”, but while saying this, he probably didn’t understand something, i.e. generally people love developing ideas, not a substance. After failing in exam, Thomas Alva Edison probably had that belief. Instead of trying one more time to pass in an exam, he moved on doing something else and later became famous for inventing bulb.

Really I am tired of this Bloggers Block.

Hope I will get over this situation very soon.




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