Committed Through Device

Posted: December 16, 2014 in life, NaBloPoMo, Personal, Relationships, Social
Tags: , , , , , ,

CTD 02A few days before, i was travelling from Delhi to Kolkata by train. I reached the platform at bit late and just after i boarded the train, it started moving. I got settled in my seat after putting the luggage under the seat. I checked all my co-travellers, of which one of them was a teenage lady and two other were an aged couple. The old person of that couple took the initiative to break the silence first and very soon we found ourselves very comfortable with each other. We talked about Indian economy, cricket, new ministry, terrorism, from anything to almost everything. It has become my bad habit that while talking with someone on something, i always keep on learning things and adding my points on almost everything. Good or bad, whatever it is i always have a story on anything, surprisingly all true and witnessed by me. Everyone has their own point of interest, like me, i can talk atleast a week without any break on construction industry, one day in Indian economy, one hour on geography or history and almost one month on Cricket or soccer. Slowly i understood the older person was more into Indian politics and defence strategies which immediately attracted me to take active part in the discussion. While we were arguing on something on the same topic, the other two ladies were busy with their phone or kept on talking between themselves on some other topic ignoring our discussion and forcefully or unforcefully, we were also ignoring their subject, until that young lady got a phone call from someone and out of courtesy we all had to stop talking to let the girl talk happily without surround sound. We all turned our face towards the window and started watching the beauty of nature while keeping eager ear on the telephonic discussion. It actually gives more pleasure in knowing someone’s private talk than conquering a big billion dollar country. The lady was talking with a male friend, with whom she shares a very good relationship but probably they like to keep it as a good friendship than renaming it as committed relationship. It seemed like both of them have agreed to this. No responsibility of affection showing drama from any side, just a mutual understanding with an underlying promise of being together in need. That need based relationship is something we all dream for but never experienced in our life. After sometime, the older lady, probably wife of that older person broke the silence but putting a sudden brake in our day dreaming, asked the young lady, “don’t mind, are you in relationship with that guy, you just talked over the phone?” the young lady replied with a diplomatic smile meaning yes or no, or might be both. After taking a pause for a couple of seconds, she replied, we are in a committed through device relationship and hit a hatrick in only a single ball. The story ends here.CTD 01

This is a new kind of relationship in this world; people are always busy with their smart phone through various social networking sites. They have different mail ids for different use. One is kept for their official purposes, one for their girlfriends or boyfriends and one for all other naughty raunchy things. It gives some kind of personal relaxation. I have talked with a lot people on this issue. None of them actually committed anything to anyone. It is seen that most of the time this relationship starts through internet, continues for a couple of months and then finishes in no time at all. I can give example of one of such relationship. That time Facebook launched in India newly and people started forming groups in close friends, so a word generated, i.e. common net friend. That means a person, whom i personally don’t know at all but has a distant friendship through some of my friends. Slowly though group chat or something like that they become close friend of mine too. Not that always the same thing happens but sometime it happens too. Within a very short period of time i came to know that she was daughter of my dad’s lost friend. Through us, our dad got number of his old lost friend and that bonded our friendship more. We exchanged our phone numbers and started talking but it was never a so called couple relationship as i was having my own girlfriend and she was also having a boyfriend but it seemed more comfortable in sharing problems, issues with someone whom i never met. Later also we never met each other and one fine morning i discovered someone else with whom i was more interested in sharing things than her. She also found the same thing and thus it discontinued.

A friend of mine confessed after a good dose of alcohol that, he can’t cheat his wife and so stopped talking to any of his ex girlfriends but one thing he does religiously, i.e. Keeping friendship with anonymous people. CTD 04He knows none will eventually come to know him and he also has no interest in meeting the personally even in any kind of wild dream.

It is actually a funny thing, meeting people through common forum or keeping old friendship through device. In an article in one of a leading daily in India, i saw a same subject where the discussion was how much a person is committed to their spouse. There most of the people accepted that in their office they meet people, in social arena, they meet people, build relationship but don’t drag it further because they fear of their already committed relationship. Committing a relationship through smart devices means easily accessible from anywhere and obviously the revealing own identity chapter is exclusively on owner’s risk and desire.

In India, a survey says 70% people feel marriage is more of a legal binding with full of unethical adjustments, in Australia it is 40% and the lowest is in USA. There it is 75%. May be there people are more committed to their own life than sharing it with others for lifelong only for some legal issues or maybe they are actually in to a proper happy married life. We all know the reason but what is to be kept as secret, attracts us more than what is easily available. We commit through device. We first post the picture of the food in Instagram even before tasting it because even if we are not committed to anyone for anything, still if a people click on the like button on that photo, it gives a pleasure. It has become more important to attract attention of people, both known and unknown that enjoying the food CTD 03itself for which we pay for. Facebook or same kind of social networking sites where appreciating someone or something is easier than doing it in real and who doesn’t like to live in a dreamland where there is no sense of feeling insecure at any time of life!

So, the world is into that secret commitment, commitment through device. We don’t have any option but accept it as the future of relationship.

(Dont just click on the ‘LIKE’ button, pls spare sometime to write a few words in the comments section too)

Debraj

16.12.2014

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