Finally : In Search of God # 02

Posted: May 30, 2014 in God, Inspiration, life, NaBloPoMo, Personal
Tags: , , , ,

ImageContinued after Part #01

After my days in Mission, I went to join a job in Chattisgarh, a province in India. The location was somewhere very far away from even a village town. In that place, there was a small hill and on top of that there was a small temple of Bajrangwali but there was no direct way to reach there. After watching the place for one month, one day morning thought of exploring it from close. I along with a friend got ready for a short trekking trip. After reaching nearby that hill, found a small grass-route and so we started walking through that. Actually there was no proper way to reach on the top and the grass route thorough we were walking, that was also barely visible, almost covered with bushes, somewhere small natural drain. We were scared of snakes also as we saw one on the way. it was big and dark in color but didn’t bother our presence. After reaching on top of the hill, we found a small mud made hut and an orange colored big stone sculptured idol of Bajrangwali. There was one monk and one of his disciples. They were not surprised by seeing us as they noticed us long before and actually waited for us to reach. They offered tea and to which we immediately agreed. Then after tea, we started talking, chatting. I was quite thrilled to see his simple living on top of a small hill along with a jumbo Bajrangwali sculpture.Image After half an hour Babaji (the monk) offered us tobacco, handmade half feet long brown colored country cigarette. He offered Mahua, a pure village made country wine, to which we politely refused. He smiled and said, beta shanti tabhi milta hai, jab yeh daar se bahar ayoge” (peace is only when there is no bindings). He understood we were scared of him and his country made wine, we were even scared of the way down from the hill too. He didn’t force and we didn’t change our mind. After chatting for one long hour with a non-vegetarian, regular drinker and smoker babaji, it felt really very good. We walked back to the point, where we have started in the early afternoon. Whole night I thought of a place, far away from society, where nobody bothers about identity, there in mid of wild animals, poisonous snakes, adverse environmental conditions, one person is living with some very basic things, a shed to cover head from direct rain or sunshine, a very few food to live healthy, some kinds of additional dosages to keep brain involved and one eternal support, i.e. god, there it was Bajrangwali.

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high

Where knowledge is free

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments

By narrow domestic walls

Where words come out from the depth of truth

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way

Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit

Where the mind is led forward by thee

Into ever-widening thought and action

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake…..Rabindranath Tagore


From Chattisgarh, I got transferred to Jammu & Kashmir, another province in India. My site was half an hour drive from my flat. We used to get company vehicle for pick up and drop. I got a good promotion too and so work load got increased a lot. I was not getting any time for nurturing my old hobbies too and so there was no scope to think of god. Just behind my site, it was only two kilometer walking distance to reach the Indo-Pak border and near that border, there was one village named Vijaypur, locally known as Bajpur. In that village, there was a small temple and a huge under construction sculpture of Bajrangwali.Image Being curious one day, during office hours I went inside the temple. It was a very simple temple, where there were a few relics and a big photo of Bajrangwali. Places of worshipping were separate for ladies and gents and most of them maintained proper dress code, i.e. almost white. I didn’t like the place. Everyone was so much desperate to see the god and take blessings from him. In the next six months, I visited the famous Raghunath temple in Jammu, Chichimata temple in Samba and a few babaji places. Actually after disappointing experience of almost all the places there, I lost interest in the search process, and then only, one of my friend suggested to go Vaishno Devi, one of the most famous place in India. One night we started our journey. We were three friends, all actually colleagues. We hired a vehicle for the ease of travelling and reached Katra. From there it’s a 14km trek. It was summer and we started at around 9pm and reached the temple at around 2am at night. We stopped a bit to take a few minutes rest and there we actually saw what it meant by believing in god. People from all over the world, of all ages, from new born babies to few hours before death, everyone, like us, trekked all the way or took help of mule or some kind of human carrying chair. All through the way the kept on chanting Jay Mata Di,Image they forgot about any pain, any gain, rain, sun, cold…everything. It was a heavenly feeling then. We took shower in chilled water with everyone and waited for our turn to come. When our turn was announced, we stood in the queue; we were taken through a long serpentine queue through hall rooms and small temples to reach beside a small cave and a very small door. There were three stones kept openly on some clothes, under some gold made sheds, wet floor and even before taking a complete breathe, we were pushed ahead to make space for the person next to me. it took three hours to reach at the starting point of trek. Though it was downslope but as my friend’s feet were already a lot swollen due to walking that much on that hilly terrain, it took time. in all these three hours, I didn’t utter a single word. I had no problem in believing those three stones as replica of god but somehow my mind didn’t get satisfaction. I didn’t get a call from inside stating peace, happiness, and valuable. It seemed like a good trip ended and that’s it.

I went to various temples around India but somewhere I was missing a link between me and god. I never got a call from god, never felt that urge to remember him, and never understood the necessity of him. In tough days, I concentrated on frustrations or actions than believing and waiting for the help from god. I started meditation at home after dinner at mid of the nights to concentrate on something super power that occurs around me every day but my material eye can’t see. After a few days, turned on slow music to meet mental peace, and then started walking on main road after dinner, a long walk to meet with the nature when there would not be any kind of mental or physical pressure around me, and it helped. I used to walk in village roads, town streets murmuring a simple song or creating poetry or singing then and instant scripted songs and watch poor people who didn’t have proper clothes to wear even in the winters, I started watching cattle who used to make weird sound for mosquito bite, sexual urge or sometime just for making their existence traceable. Beneath the blue starry sky, I kept on walking at night for more than one month before once I was stopped by some gang of people who introduced themselves as army personnel to me and asked for my identity card, which I was not carrying but believed whatever I said to them. They took me in their vehicle, dropped me at my flat and suggested, I mean ordered politely,” the place is not good. It is better to stay inside a closed room than going for an adventure to invite death.” I smiled and from then onwards followed strictly. I had no intention to offer myself to the god. I just wanted happiness, value of life, mental peace and stability.


To be continued


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