Do I really Hate my Job???

Posted: May 27, 2014 in Inspiration, life, NaBloPoMo, Personal
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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The moment I wake up in the morning, the only terror comes in my mind is not going by ferocious Mumbai Local train, Aviation licensed auto rickshaw drivers but how and why I shall have to spend a whole day in office. Honestly that’s the only tension fills my mind with hopelessness, discourage, all the negative words available to describe a person who actually doesn’t want to work in a scheduled working hours and fixed scheduled routine job without any kind of proper exposure. But one and only good thing of it is it enlightens my pocket on very first week of every month and without any fail and as this is the only way of earning to ensure my daily bread, I don’t have any other options to choose. Actually I am too enthusiastic to generate ideas or perform under good supervision but too lazy to work on it personally. I have read a lot motivational books written by world famous writers, attended a few good seminars, made down charts to follow, threw out procrastination but eating the frog early Imagebut actually in real life where performance determines everything, there remained like a salary holder. It is like living a life like Jack of all, master of none, and only masters live on the bed of money, so clearly I don’t have money, as I don’t have money I don’t have courage to leave a job to stop regular income. As I don’t have money, I don’t have that courage to start something from the beginning using my own brain and creative mind. So I wake up in the morning, brush like someone raped me last night and so can’t stand on my own feet, then take bath, chew breakfast and finally get ready for office wearing all boring clothes, undies and then the most irritating formal leather shoe, which even needs more cream buttering than anything on this earth.

I reach railway station and wait for train, when it comes with another million, billion, may be trillion people practicing for working in circus by leaning from the train due to heavy jam packed passengers inside, I get my energy level boost up, I jump on the board and then like all other people keep on forcing people inside, pressing inside to get a minimum most place required to keep my one feet atleast. Regarding travelling in Mumbai local, I have mentioned in another blog about the whole story. ImageAnyway, frustrated I am, reach the desired station by standing in the queue of it. People automatically force me to get down from the train either by pushing from back or by calling my name along with my parents, yes incredible slangs.

I take an auto from the station which everyday takes two signals, a lot of carbon di-oxide and then drops me at my office. After reaching my office I feel like reaching heaven, chilled everywhere except some hot girls wearing hot colorful dresses and then the security officer welcomes me with a huge smile like I got agreed to marry his daughter, may be wife, anyway and reminds me one thing, sir, you are one of those few persons whom people call boss. So behave like a boss. Don’t look at girl’s arm, thigh, or at neck. Don’t even check what they are wearing, just concentrate on your work, behave good, smile well, welcome all, solve the problems, then go out in the evening and meet your wife at home. I feel like saying, fuck off and get a life but then feel what his fault is; actually it’s me who is suffering from all these octopus like professional pressure, personal pressure, from where there is no relief at all for even a single day. And what kind of work to do at office, yes due to specialization during studies, only some specific kinds of jobs to see, become experienced and then senior to have some disciples who actually doesn’t like you a bit but calls you boss with a pinned up smile on face and you feel happy by seeing them and if any of them is a girl, you melt like hot chocolate.

ImageHonestly I don’t like what I am doing right now. Who the hell gave me jobs and a lucrative promise to pay me on every first week, I seriously don’t have any idea. I don’t even know the name of the first person who invented this procedure to keep their employees devoted every day. I can sing sometime, sometime I prefer drawing, can write poems, sometime spend time by writing blogs and short stories and sometime work hard to write a good story, may be novella but at the end of a day, I am a mere salary holder where I am bound to reply for everything I do at office and then at home. From not doing a job in time at professional level to for not feeding aquarium fishes at home in personal level. This is only because I don’t have that tenacity to wake up one fine morning and do something that I love than pulling a cartful of responsibilities, bounding, pressures and that also to meet up a sudden expectation of other people. It’s like my happiness is seeing other people happy. May be those who are around me or those, whose burden I carry happily everyday are also thinking the same and its most possible that to some people, I am also a pack of burden, non-decomposable wastage, sack of show case of responsibility or even worse, of no scrap value item.Image

Actually it’s not only the job, that we hate or to be specific atleast in my blog, I hate, it is actually the urge to live bigger than better that kill me every day. I don’t want a Sunday or a five days week to rest on rest two days but I want to work on every days without but that work should have to me of my choice. I may even like to paint all day long but someone shall have to pay me for that even if that seems like a piece of shit. I know I am talking shit but sometime it’s too much pressure to move ahead, too much troublesome to continue to work as a salary holder and fixed income employee, sometime it feels bad for not having much money to start an initiative of my own choice.

Take care guys. Love you all and yes, thanks for reading.

27.05.2014

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