Why do man lie to Woman

Posted: April 14, 2014 in NaBloPoMo
Tags: , , , , , ,

Why do men lie to women’ is really a tricky subject to write on. During the process of writing on such a sensitive issue when I am also facing the same problem while having conversation with my wife, I talked with a lot of my male friends and tried to understand what actually goes on in their mind while talking on something or anything with their woman. What happens to a man whenever they talk with their woman that forces them to lie on any issue? I even tried to understand is there any basic gender biased non-understandable myth behind this or actually it’s in our gene or blood to do it deliberately.

A few days before, while watching a cricket match, my wife offered me to have some pizza in dinner and I immediately agreed without any conditions though actually I don’t like having Pizza as it contains too much of cheese and too heavy piece of bread. A pizza is a food that contains too much of carbohydrate and fat but very less in terms of calcium and protein. May be that’s my own understanding but I feel in that way only because I don’t like the taste and for me it’s neither too heavy for a meal nor too light as snacks. But just to avoid it in details as I already knew that when my wife has decided to have it as she craves for Pizza, it’s my legal duty to accompany her. She doesn’t like to have Indian foods all the time in dinner but agreed to compromise on the ground of unavailability of her desired food and so in that case, it was my turn to accept some Italian food on the menu. My wife also knew that though I didn’t like the idea of having Pizza at night, still agreed just to avoid confusion but that ‘happily agreed’ face of mine didn’t satisfy her and so she asked me once again about the choice of food whether I am saying it by heart and at that time also I repeated the same stating I would love to have pizza and continued to watch the cricket match. Now the fact is that I lied. And the question is ‘why?’Image

Ok, let’s make some confessions or may be assumptions. It’s possible that one or more points from the below will stand as a reason for lying or maybe there is some possibilities of getting some untold reasons. So, coolly and confidently, let’s type it down

  1. I love her a lot and so agreed to sacrifice
  2. I am too adamant to agree with something she says but quite friendly to compromise.
  3. I don’t like a long discussion on something very petty.
  4. I actually avoid discussions as I also don’t know why don’t I like a thing
  5. I agree to expect the same when my times come
  6. Lack of confidence in myself
  7. Don’t feel comfortable or confident while talking with her
  8. As she always likes to be accepted, so you adjust

I am still not which one of the above can be considered as true or may be all of them are true while it comes about lying on something. May be the root is somewhere else, maybe there is some communication gap in between me and my wife or maybe it’s a fear of getting criticized for some ‘could have been avoided’ issues. Ok, lets start from somewhere, where there is no wife-husband relationship. Men lie even with their sisters, ladies office colleagues too. Let’s for once, get in to a little deeper in to that.

From very childhood, they have to face a lot pressures for being a boy. They have to act in different roles of life like being brother to a sister, son to a mom, caring boyfriend to his girlfriend, and lovely husband to his wife, dad to his daughter and in many other forms. In each and every form, they are considered as principal object to take care of the secondary object. Like a brother should have to maintain good harmony with his sister and it is assumed that as he is a guy, he will have to shine better than his sister. As he is a boy, he will have to be physically strong to protect his sister from any trouble or from any bad people around in the society. If he is having a younger sister, then the service shouldn’t be limited to only being brother but he must have to act like a father also. Acting like father or brother or both also don’t solve the issue. He will have to be a friend to his sister. If by any chance if there is a slight fall (whatever may be the reason, internal or external), none will give him a chance to restart an event. He should have to be as powerful as Hercules, as good personality as Robert De’Niro, as loving as Romio, as good as Jesus Christ. Every time being under scanner makes him strong enough to fight back in any situation and in that way if situation demands lying, he doesn’t even give a damn to it. They will have to do whatever they don’t like. As they don’t like tears in girls eyes, so he will have to always face the same may it be of his sister’s, mother’s, girlfriend’s or wife’s. Every time, a guy has to deal with a lot things that they don’t even like.Image

Yes, we guys get confused too also very often or get misguided. One for an example, one of my friends got married to a lady who was a bombshell in her school days, as well as during her college days also. My friend was just bowled by seeing her and immediately after seeing her, proposed. He was then working in a good MNC and was from a good rich family background. The girl took a little time to accept but ultimately accepted her proposal and they got married. After marriage, he wanted his wife to remain as sexy as before and insisted to wear those lovely dresses she used to wear. After initial blockage, she ultimately opened her college day’s wardrobe and started wearing those. Within a week or two, my friend understood accepting the guys stare at his wife’s assets was not his cup of tea but his wife was quite enjoying her outfit. He failed to tell her and kept his silence being unhappy. Okay, I do agree, he was may be orthodox kinda and I am not here to judge his mental condition or whatever he was. I am just saying, he is still lying, though he knows the reason for his lie, still he can’t change his words. May be its some kind of ego, may be something else. If he says something, he will not remain as lovely, supportive, modern, educated, smart husband.

It’s all about acting smart, working smart and remaining smart being the most important silent member, brings a lot pressures on men. Male are known as physically stronger than female but none says that they are weaker than female when it comes to emotions.

They can’t cry, they can’t quarrel, they can’t have a choice on most of the things, and then how do we expect them to say the truth always? They don’t lie at all, but actually, they bypass the truth to remain happy, bring happiness in a family, society. Let’s say thanks to their habit of lying first before criticizing it. Please let us accept that they don’t lie for their own happiness only, but to maintain a peace in everything.

And though my words seem like I am actually supporting the idea of lying but I am not. I am only accepting the truth that, Everyone lies, it’s a human nature of living in a society, in a family but no one gender is more or less habitually a ‘liar’.

After all the discussions and points I have mentioned above, I would like to draw a conclusion, i.e. it’s not Men, even Women lies a lot. Difference is, when a woman lies, it is considered as ‘compromise’ or ‘adjust’ and the same is treated as ‘fault’ when it comes to a man.

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Debraj

14.04.2014

Mumbai

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Comments
  1. […] say this to him/her, he/she may get hurt. We keep our mouth shut. I have used an example in my blog https://dreamzpassions.wordpress.com/2014/04/14/why-do-man-lie-to-woman/ . Time and again, I am repeating the same thing, i.e. over-dependence is fun, but it’s for a few […]

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