Another Try for a “No Smoking” life

Posted: April 10, 2014 in NaBloPoMo
Tags: , ,

It was in my mind since one fine Sunday morning I felt some pain on the left side of my chest. I thought maybe it is due to acidity. I got up and drank lot water from the bed side bottle and saw my wife was still sleeping. There was a smile on her face, might be she was dreaming something pleasant. Actually, the pain on the chest was not showing any sign to say good bye but it was increasing like hell. I slipped in to slipper and came out of the room. I stood in the balcony and the fresh air was making me feel well slowly. After almost two three minutes, there was no pain at all and so my breathing was normal again. I walked in to our bed room again and fell asleep once again. When I woke up that day, my wife was standing beside me with a cup of hot Darjeeling tea in her hand and the same smile when she was in sleep. I took the cup from her and said good morning to her, to which she replied with a kiss on my lips and left the room. I switched off the cooler and then took the newspaper. I was a lot happy and relieved as it was a Sunday morning. After taking the first sip of the tea, I took out a cigarette and then lit that up. I finished the cup of tea and the cigarette together and rushed for the toilet. While sitting in the loo, again I started feeling the same pain at exactly the same place where I was feeling a few hours before. It felt like a signal or some kind of coded information to my brain. I started panicking. With that pan, I was having a little problem with my breathing also. It felt like breathing was not normal at all but getting uneven beats in my heart. To my utter surprise, like the same way it vanished in the morning, here also the pain vanished in two minutes but this time left a lot tensions on me. I started wandering and finding the reason of such pain. My latrine was clear and there was no acidity sensation or gas formation in my digestive system. Then only suddenly my eyes went on to the big image of ‘Statutory Warning’ printed on the packets of cigarettes. The lungs shown there were looking grey, swollen. The scene was too bad to even look at it. It seemed like somehow it caught fire and like a wooden vile, it can be burnt into ashes in no second.Image

The next few hours, I spent searching almost all the pages Google have on the subject of how to quit smoking. There were a lot ways to do so and whatever ways they were suggesting, all were true and convincing but to start with any of the ways, I need to be confident about it. Actually, I was worried about the pain in my left chest but was not convinced to quit smoking for that. I was confident with a theory is that there are many persons I know personally are of aged more than seventy and still are enjoying every puff of smoking. Even I was not confident whether actually there is any proper reason to worry about life? Omkar, a friend of mine died at the age of twenty only in a car accident. He didn’t even see one third of an average life, never was addicted to smoking. Pranay, the best guitarist among my entire musician friend, died of simple jaundice. He suffered for almost a year before giving up any hope of being cured. I was one of those who took his body to the Burning Ghats and burnt his body in to ashes. He was also not a smoker. And Annie, who born in a super-rich family, saw her parents got divorced when she was only a ten years old kid. From then onwards she grew up, graduated from one of the best colleges in India and then to Trinity college to do her research. Now settled in UK and teaching in a college there. Up to the age of fifteen, she was raised with the money from her parents and after that, she refused to accept any money from and then and started working to earn her own bread. She also didn’t smoke a cigarette even during her frustrated days but what did she get? She didn’t even get a proper life. Left by parents and then struggled and struggled.

I was not convinced at all with the idea of quitting the habit of smoking. I took a day to think before reaching a solution. I took a break from scheduled weekly marketing on the Sunday afternoon and walked towards the lakeside road. I was an athlete in my school days. I thought of jogging for half an hour to refresh my lungs and hearts, most importantly mind. After jogging for almost five minutes only, I started sweating like anything and my heart was pumping like hell. I had to stop, bend my waist, rest my hands on my knees and breathe heavily. I returned home with an understanding is that enough playing with my own lungs. Still was not confident of quitting smoking. I thought of taking one final test. My flat is at sixth floor and there I thought of using the stairs instead of lift. It took at max two minutes to reach my floor but I was confident enough to understand that nothing much is left in my lungs. If I take a snapshot of its section, I am quite sure of seeing the same picture like what we generally see on a cigarette packet. I didn’t say anything about any of my experiments whatever I did today with myself.

I checked a few sites on how to quit smoking and then about the after effects of it. In every place, each site, some words seemed common like it needs self-control and an immense desire to quit it by anyhow. They even suggested removing all smoking tools like lighters, empty cigarette packets or anything similar to that and I blindly followed that. They suggested keeping some mint type thing, even cardamom will serve the purpose, I started keeping that too.

I started working out also along with my wife to keep myself fit and help me stay mentally fit to quit such bad habits. I am sure, I will be able to throw it away but scared of picking it any day while feeling low for something or may be when someone will offer me. I need to be cautious and temperamental there.

I am not sure what to do and how to stick to what I am doing but let’s give it a try, a good try for a positive thing.

Wish me luck friends. I really need to come out of this bad habit.

Thanks

Debraj

07.04.2014

Mumbai

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