It’s a Trap, get Trapped and Enjoy Marriage…

Posted: January 13, 2014 in NaBloPoMo
Tags: , , ,

I got married a few months before and the total twelve month period including six months of premarital phase and now the ongoing six months post marital phase. This is a tough side of our life when suddenly your own world becomes a sharing basis. After getting committed, still you get some chances for your own, still you can take some of your own decision but once you got married, there is nothing called ‘personal’ and if you are very much in to maintaining that, then you are actually screwing your own life. Marriage changes a person’s life completely and funny part is that, that evening, you got married and just after your marriage, it’s not even a single day or single hour you get to settle down but you got a burden of your life, i.e. you are married now. Yes, I used the word, Burden. Please don’t take it negatively. Here burden means you are now not a single entity but a double. You are now accompanied with much responsibilities, love, care, and appreciation, affection which will bring you much more happiness, joyous moments and somehow pains too. Yes, all of a sudden all these things will ponder on you and you don’t have any getaway.

Most funny thing about marriage is there are no just you anymore. Now you have to make two cups of tea whenever you make it, you have to buy two movie tickets, shop for two people. You can’t even wear your oldest torn jeans even if you like it a lot, if your counterpart doesn’t approve wearing it. There was a funny example once I read in one of the best-selling novel written in Bengali. There it was written about a couple who dated each other for almost seven years and then only got married to each other happily after so many ups and downs in their relationship. They got married and people whoever came to the reception party enjoyed their food, wished them luck and went away. Then the couple was given an awesome room and well decorated bed to sleep and enjoy the most memorable night of their life. The first problem they faced was, the girl never slept without a mosquito net and the guy can’t breathe inside a mosquito net. They initially ignored the issue and the girl compromised to sleep without any mosquito net. They had sex four times in that night and then decided to sleep the rest of the night. The guy immediately fell asleep and the girl spent her first post marriage night sleepless.  The very next day she told the incident to her husband and in reply she got a big sound of laugh. The same thing, i.e. sleepless night continued for another couple of days and then the guy realized the pain the girl was having. Then he decided to take the turn of compromise. That night they slept under mosquito net and though the guy didn’t spend a sleepless night but somehow it was a disturbed sleep. That’s marriage. Compromising with everything, either both of you will have to compromise, adjust or one of you will have to suffer. That suffering slowly becomes a practice.

Our parents adjusted in their life, we are adjusting and our siblings will do the same too and there is not run away from this fact, still we get married and pose happily infront of lens.

I was never a fan of watching television in my leisure time but was into writing blogs, or painting or doing poetry. After getting married, I found my wife started watching TV almost all the time in leisure. I also started doing the same and now I also have some fixed programs to watch. I eagerly wait for the time for some specific programs and any disturbances in the channel makes me feel bad or tensed. As a result I have stopped painting, stopped poetry and stopped entertaining those followers who used to love my writings a lot.

Marriage is a change of lifestyle. I can’t get drunk on weekends. Now a days, I don’t drink much and almost stopped smoking. Even some time when I go partying with my childhood friends or office colleagues, then also I have to keep in mind that my wife is waiting for me at home and she will not like me to see that much drunk so that I can’t stand on my own feet. I have never woke up early in the morning on holidays but now I wake up before my wife wakes up on holidays, the reason is she gives me bed tea on every week days and a holiday is a only day when I can return the favor a little bit and say thank you without even uttering a single word. I used to go for trekking but my wife is a little obese and so she can’t go for such a trek trip. We carefully adjust our trips for sea beach or some other places where the purposes, having a trip and enjoying together are served.

Don’t get married if you think masturbation is a thing that you enjoy more than having a passionate sex. Don’t get married if you are friendlier with sex-workers than your own girlfriend, who will be your wife in future. Life is not about doing right things always but sometime it’s about how much love you can give in reply to how much you are getting. Study says married people live longer than unmarried. It even says married people earn better, look more attractive, but I will say, even any married people will agree with me, though there are a lot ups and downs in a relationship, even in between a married couple too, sometime it forces to think marriage as a trap too, still I can proudly say, I am happy being married. Probably only in ten percent times, my view matches with my wife’s, in most of the cases our choices are different; we don’t have much similarities in our behavior and interests too, we came from two completely different family background and poses different professional aims too, still we enjoy spending time together, plan together, eat together and on any holidays, bathe together. I feel sorry when we fight and don’t talk, she also feels the same.

Yeas my dear friend, Marriage is a trap; I will suggest, get trapped and enjoy marriage.



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