I lose, she loses too, still we have superiority complex…

Posted: December 30, 2013 in NaBloPoMo

Actually today morning after reaching my office, I took out my mobile and checked if I have missed any message while travelling and found a small notification icon of Facebook blinking on my cell. I swiped the screen and found it’s of my wife’s. It was something about the superiority complex where she tried to write a sentence in such a way so that people don’t misunderstand her about that superiority complex as she doesn’t have that. She even tried to mention that those who are having that complex should not expect her nice side to shown all the time because if situation demands, then seriously she will appear to prove her superiority without any complex. Here the question raises, why do people feel so much insecure in most of the cases? Why do they think the partner is having that superiority complex? Why can’t people appreciate their own complex?

Okies, let’s study a little more about what’s the superiority complex syndrome?

Superiority complex in everyday usage means having very high opinion of oneself. In psychology it refers to the same attitude, however in psychology it is considered that the attitude is actually a way to hide or compensate for feeling of inferiority. It was a term introduced by psychologist Alfred Adler in series of his books like “Understanding Human Nature”, “Social Interest” etc., says various article available on internet and on request one of my friend elaborated that patiently.

There are different reasons like I know a person who was brought up with so many hurdles and with very high expectations. When he started achieving them one by one, he started having the superiority complex and yes obviously to some people, it’s part of their nature. Those who are having the same are prone to use a very few common words like idiot, stupid, worthless etc. to show their superiority, they may downsize you, make offending comments, insult infront of other people, humiliate for no reason at all. Behaviors related to this mechanism may include an exaggeratedly positive opinion of one’s worth and abilities, unrealistically high expectations in goals and achievements for oneself and others, the persistent attempt to correct others regardless of whether they are factually correct or not, vanity, extravagant style in dressing (with intent of drawing attention), excessive need for competition, pride, sentimentalism and affected exaltation, snobbishness, a tendency to discredit other’s opinions, forcefulness aimed at dominating those considered as weaker or less important, credulity, and others. Funny thing is that Superiority and inferiority complex are often found together as the different expressions of the same pathology and the two complexes can exist within the same individual. Actually superiority complex is sometime the result of underlying inferiority complex.

The superiority complex is one of the ways that a person with an inferiority complex may use as a method of escape from her or Imagehis difficulties. She or he assumes that she or he is superior when she or he is not, and this false success compensates her or him for the state of inferiority which she or he cannot bear. The normal person does not have a superiority complex; she or he does not even have a sense of superiority. She or he has the striving to be superior in the sense that we all have ambition to be successful; but so long as this striving is expressed in work it does not lead to false valuations, which are at the root of mental disease.

Yes, actually it’s a problem of self-confidence too. A simple example may lighten up the thing. I knew one teacher who used to teach in our school and we used to keep waiting for his lectures. He had a nice baritone voice, smooth pleasing personality and wonderful demonstration skill. He used to start his class either with some drawing on the board or with some kind of slide show, then slowly one by one demonstration and finishing just in time after creating a solid impact among us. That teacher taught almost 38years in the same school and after retirement, decided to join politics. Some of his students started following him and arranged a big banner for him. Personally he called me for his first public meeting with a do or die mentality. He felt like the example he has set for students throughout his teaching career like attending school with never late attitude, teaching them with passion and then getting the best out of every even from the weakest student, will work in politics too. He became very confident after seeing most of the people around him were his own students. When his time came, he took microphone in his hand and then started talking. His lecture was completely boring. People started yawning and leaving the place, then some of the volunteers went to him and whispered something in his ears and immediately after that he started shouting and blaming the young generations for not having the patience. He called them useless, impatient and burden to the society. The then followers politely threw him away from the politics considering over burden. Lata Mangeshkar can’t bat like Sachin and Sachin can’t look like Daniel Craig. Humiliating others has never solved a problem and will never do in future.

Somehow it’s a defense mechanism. It’s a mechanism to hide his own inferiority, lack of knowledge, ideas to share. Nicely described by Ansbacher, Heinz L., and Ansbacher, Rowena R. in their The Individual Psychology of Alfred AdlerIf a person is a show-off it is only because she or he feels inferior, because she or he does not feel strong enough to compete with others on the useful side of life. That is why she or he stays on the useless side. She or he is not in harmony with society. It seems to be a trait of human nature that when individuals – both children and adults – feel weak, they want to solve the problems of life in such a way as to obtain personal superiority without any admixture of social interest. A superiority complex is a second phase. It is a compensation for the inferiority [feeling] complex.”

Only a last sentence to conclude the discussion and to act better overcoming all these kind of mental diseases is as Mithun Chakraborty declared hilariously in Golmaal 3, those who live in glass houses should change clothes in the basement. Maybe we Indians need to internalize that.

— Sougata

30.12.2013

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