Don’t Dare to behave like a husband, just remain boyfriend

Posted: February 25, 2013 in NaBloPoMo

As always the topic I select is confusing and an attempt to claim it as self-explanatory. Anyway, let’s not bother a lot about the name but let’s go to the content directly.

The thinking stated today when I was assuming my would be is going somewhere and for that she is hurry and doing things timely, but she was not opening her up telling me the plan, so even I too didn’t show any query from my side. After a while she sent me a picture of being well dressed and ready to go out, so I had to ask her, “Where are you going?” she took time to respond and replied, “I am waiting for my friend to pick me up as we have a planning to have lunch outside”. She continued telling me, “I didn’t tell you thinking you might feel sad”. I got stunned and took time to reply as I knew my immediate reply may cause of again a fight and this time much more than whatever we had before. Main problem with me is that I have brought up in such a family where sharing everything is the only thing to do among family members and there we don’t know how to give space, open space to others. I have seen my parents to sit and discuss all the issues without criticizing their intention. Yap, it’s not that they didn’t have fight. They also fight, quarrel and then stop it by coming to a mutual platform. I have seen my dad going somewhere without telling my mom and didn’t see my mom going somewhere without asking for permission from dad. My mom didn’t like his person to smoke and so my dad had to quit smoking. My dad never had any complain with my mom saying she did something against his will. I don’t know whether they lost their warmth and accepted a mutual standard of living to keep calm in the family. I don’t know whether they were by any chance over demanding to each other or casually accepted each other’s disliking but I saw, experienced them to share a mutual platform to be accepted by both of them.

May be I am over thinking about the fact what I have experienced today. Last night I didn’t have proper sleep only for some simple words of my would be. Let’s start with that thing and consider the name Priya as my would be. She informed me, her brother is planning to go for a trip to Mandarmoni and invited both her and Joyiee. As always, both of them agreed to go for that trip but suddenly her brother has invited some of his college mates also to accompany them putting these two ladies in a confusion of what to do. Funny thing is that, they made the plan, chalked out thoroughly even thought of booking a vehicle to go but I was kept in darkness like what will I do knowing that thing. It’s her personal life and I don’t have anything to say in that. I am not permitted to intrude in her personal life. I kept my calmness and listened her whole planning stating she is thrilled to go as she always have a love for the place. I didn’t expect her to take permission from me, though the lady who is going to get married with me within next four and half months must give that much importance to his fiancée. The reason of giving importance is nothing but sharing a common space and having the feel that as the dates are fixed, so now my responsibility is to take care of her and same implies to she also. She made the plan, did all the necessary things to be done and then informed me. I felt myself a simple puppet in all the stories she made. I felt bad about her brother too. She knows her sister is getting married within a very few months and then inviting her to visit somewhere along with her? Fuck the concept of calling her a brother. She is not even blood related to her but obviously hats up to that guy; he has that power to convince two other ladies to company him and putting her sister’s fiancée in a mental agony. I don’t know why he always gets involved in all of her friends party? Obviously he will be because being a guy, even I like the company of girls. People may take me wrong thinking I am bringing a nasty topic and trying to put dirt in a brother-sister eternal relationship. I am sorry; I can’t resist me to control myself.

Now today she declared that she is going to have lunch with one of her lady friend to announce her marriage in the month of coming July forcing me to think again and again, whether I am doing things right? When being a fiancée, I have no control of her life, when except being in bed, we don’t have any similarities to work out, when she is hoping to treat myself as her dumb boyfriend throughout her life, when my number comes after everybody, then I am sorry, I am not convinced why she is getting married to me. Sometime these thinking force me to think, she is marrying me as she didn’t have any choice, as she desperately needed to get married to add a free title in her lifestyle, as I am awfully good in bed as per her opinion. Come on; let’s not worsen the situation thinking more. Let’s take some decisions like-

  1. I will have to remain as her supporting friend in any need without asking or questioning on anything.
  2. If she gets drunk along with her friend, then also without reacting in any way, will have keep myself calm and patient until she declares glass down.
  3. If she wants to go for a trip to any place and informs you after even when the trip is finished, then also will have to stand there with a smile and ask, “How was the trip honey?”
  4. If she says to change some lifestyles of you, then its better to start changing it asap but don’t dare to say her the same thing because she is perfect and the best also, so what can be better than the best?
  5. If you plan to buy something or anything, please ask for her opinion and if she does the same and inform you almost after even one month also, then show your teeth and appreciate her choice.

Readers are thinking me a mad probably, but I am sorry, these are very simple things to do to remain in a married relationship. The mantra is Don’t Dare to behave like a husband, just remain boyfriend.

I just need to ask her one more question, Does she is ready to get married? Not necessary, she will have to marry me but one need to be confident before taking such steps.

Sougata

25.02.2013

Mumbai

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